To medicate or not

That IS the question…
A Parent’s Perspective on ADHD, Teenagers, and Finding the Right Support

One of the most common questions parents ask after an ADHD diagnosis is should we medicate?

And the honest answer is… it’s complicated.

As a parent of a teenager with ADHD — and now training as an ADHD coach — I’ve lived this question from the inside. This is our story, not as advice, but as reassurance for parents and teens who may be navigating similar decisions.

When school becomes a battleground

Before medication was ever discussed, school was hard.

My son was frequently getting warnings, sanctions and detentions — all for behaviours directly linked to ADHD:

• Forgetting essential equipment
• Calling out in class
• Interrupting
• Struggling to stay focused
• Distracting others (often without realising)

It felt relentless — for him and for us.

Although my instinct wasn’t to medicate long-term, I also wanted to give him the best possible chance to cope with school and reduce the constant negative feedback. So we decided to explore ADHD medication.

Trying ADHD medication: what changed (and what didn’t)

Under close supervision from his psychiatrist, my son began titration on methylphenidate. He started on a low dose and, over several months, gradually increased to 30mg on school days. Once stabilised, his care was transferred back to the GP under a shared care agreement, with regular monitoring of weight, height and blood pressure.

In many ways, medication did help.

• School reported improved behaviour
• Fewer warnings and detentions
• Less daily conflict around lessons

From the outside, things looked better.

But inside, I still felt uneasy.

Why medication alone didn’t feel like the full answer

ADHD isn’t just about behaviour — it’s about how a brain works.

While medication reduced some external challenges, it didn’t teach my son:

• Why his brain works the way it does
• How to manage distractions
• How to regulate emotions
• How to plan, organise, or cope when things go wrong

I didn’t want medication to be the only support. I wanted him to understand his ADHD and build skills that would help him long after school.

That’s when we started looking for an ADHD coach for teenagers.

Trying to find an ADHD coach for a teenager

This turned out to be far harder than expected.

Most ADHD coaches work exclusively with adults. Of the few who support children and teens, many were fully booked with long waiting lists.

We eventually found a coach and signed up for a six-session programme. Unfortunately, after a couple of sessions, my son disengaged — it just wasn’t the right fit. We tried again with a walk and talk approach, hoping movement might help. After two sessions, he refused to continue.

His reason was simple and honest: I don’t like talking to strangers. I only want to talk to you.

And suddenly, I was back in that familiar place — wanting to support him properly, but feeling stuck.

When my son chose to stop medication

Several months later, my son raised a new concern.

He told me he didn’t like how medication made him feel. His appetite had dropped significantly, and he often couldn’t face eating lunch. For a growing teenage boy, that felt like a red flag.

He asked if he could stop taking it.

We discussed it carefully, involved school, and ensured his teachers understood the change. They were incredibly supportive — but predictably, things became harder again. More incidents. More effort required. More emotional regulation demanded of him.

And yet — I am so proud of him.

ADHD, puberty, GCSEs… and a lot going on

Managing ADHD without medication is not easy — especially when layered with:

• Puberty
• Exam pressure
• Social changes
• Identity development

Some days are really hard. But he is learning, reflecting, and trying — and that matters.

So… to medicate or not?

I don’t have a definitive answer.

Medication can be life-changing for some children and teenagers. For others, it may not be the right choice — or not the right choice right now. Many families land somewhere in between.

What I do know is this:
Parents and teens need support, not judgement.
They need options, not pressure.
They need understanding, education, and practical tools.

Why I’m training as an ADHD coach for parents and teens

This journey — navigating diagnosis, school systems, medication decisions, emotional wellbeing, and constant self-doubt — is what led me here.

I’m training as an ADHD coach specialising in teenagers and parents of children with ADHD because I’ve lived it. I understand the overwhelm, the guilt, the frustration — and the deep desire to do the right thing.

My approach focuses on:

• ADHD education (for both parents and teens)
• Emotional regulation
• Executive function skills
• Confidence and self-understanding
• Practical strategies for everyday life

Not one-size-fits-all answers — but personalised, compassionate support.